by Bronwyn Bowery-Ireland
I have been writing up our new curriculum at ICA and one of the modules is based around confidence. I have been reading and thinking a great deal about what makes us confident. So before I go further, let me ask you the following question:
*How confident do you feel right at this moment?
Now, if you answered ‘very confident’ let me check in with you. Are you feeling really confident because you have done the task you are working on over and over again and so you know you can do it?
I have come to understand that confidence comes from within us. Let me use an example. I am very confident in reading a profit and loss statement. I gained this skill from studying accounting many years ago at senior school. I found I was really good at it and so my confidence grew. My teacher at the time enthused my motivation for this subject and so I practiced it more and over time became an A student. I understood the strategy behind the accounting practices.
Now, many years later, I continue to read profit and loss statements. It is like reading a book, I know the language, the structure, the details. I don’t need to ask someone if they think I am good at this particular skill as I know it intuitively. This is confidence.
Now let’s change this scenario a little. Imagine that I hadn’t learnt this skill at some stage in my life. One day I attend a board meeting or a financial meeting and a profit and loss statement is placed before me. I read it, feel that maybe I get it and then I begin to participate in a conversation around it. My ideas are encouraged and then someone challenges one of my ideas based on my interpretation of the P&L statement. I begin to doubt myself, as this whole P&L stuff is new to me. My doubts grow until I accept the other person’s point, not without a good argument though. I walk away feeling uneasy, even angry, as I was sure I had a good idea. I look to a colleague and ask them their opinion. They don’t support me or give me the answer I was seeking. So I decide to try the direct approach. I ask them whether they think I am great at interpreting P&L statements. They are nonchalant about my question and don’t make me feel great.
Okay so let’s stop and look at this picture of this person. Visualise how they are standing, feeling, looking. Not a great picture. I imagine they are slouched over, they are not looking happy and they also appear a little agitated.
Have you felt like this before? Of course you have! We have all felt like this at some time or another. This is the feeling of a lack of confidence.
But here is the very interesting point I want to highlight about confidence. At the moment when this person began to not feel confident, that is to feel doubt, they stepped outside of themselves to ask for recognition. This is also the time when our ego appears. It really isn’t a nice moment and it certainly doesn’t make us feel confident.
So here is the confidence equation.
Confidence = Self management
Self management = self awareness + self belief
So next time you are not feeling confident, ask yourself the question:
What do I need to do right now to better self manage?
