Building Trust (by Bronwyn Bowery-Ireland)
In our weekly management meetings at International Coach Academy we spend the first 15 minutes of our meeting participating in an activity to develop greater trust in our team. We recognise that to achieve our goals we need to work effectively as a team and trust is one of our values. We also take it in turns to chair the meetings. This week it was my turn and part of being the chair is that you also facilitate the trust activity. I wanted to share this activity with you.
So here is the activity.
- Ask each person on the team to select a team member. Make sure each person is chosen.
- Get each person to take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. On the left hand column write the name of your team member that you have chosen. On the right hand side write your own name.
- Under each name write down the following four headings – my highs, my lows, my frustrations and my rewards.
- Answer each heading for your team member ie if your team member’s name is Mary then write down what you think Mary’s highs are in her job, her lows, her frustrations in her job and her rewards in her job.
- Then do the same for your job. Write down your highs, lows, frustrations and rewards.
- Once everyone is complete ask someone to volunteer to begin by describing what they wrote about their team member ie Mary. As you go through each heading stop after each one and ask Mary what she wrote for herself.
- Go through this process until every member on the team has had someone explain what they think their job is like and what their own job is like in reality.
The purpose of this exercise is to bring out any assumptions that people make about one another. Assumptions undermine trust. When we make assumptions about people we begin to respond to them based on our assumptions. We speak to them as though our assumptions are the truth and it determines the language we use with them. For example if we believe that someone on the team is not pulling their weight then we speak to them in an untrusting way, possibly believing that when tasks need to be done they will not deliver. So you may place little value on their involvement.
This eats at the levels of trust that are fundamental in achieving goals and team work.
But for me the key is to realise that any assumptions I hold determine the way I speak and the language I use. It can prevent me from being open to hearing things, listening and getting to know another person. But most of all it can prevent me from trusting them and in turn allowing them an opportunity to trust me.
You can apply the above exercise to anyone you work with or even a friend and then ask them to check in with your assumptions.
How trusting are your relationships?