Comments on: Power is a Dirty Word http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/ Brought to you by International Coach Academy Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:30:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.12-alpha by: mlords http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-8 Sat, 21 Oct 2006 16:45:32 +0000 http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-8 I can't help but think that this person either had a separate agenda or needed to be in control of everything around her. When I met with my first client that I did not know who was pro bono no less and was a external client- I was surprised to find that she had employed similar tactics. I felt like she had a UAC that said-"I don't need any help". She also told me in her first sentence that after the three months I should not expect to be paid. I was very courteous through out it all but ultimately advised her that she was not coachable. She accepted this as it fit in with her beliefs that she did not need me all along. Her life is perfect as is. I can’t help but think that this person either had a separate agenda or needed to be in control of everything around her.

When I met with my first client that I did not know who was pro bono no less and was a external client- I was surprised to find that she had employed similar tactics. I felt like she had a UAC that said-”I don’t need any help”. She also told me in her first sentence that after the three months I should not expect to be paid. I was very courteous through out it all but ultimately advised her that she was not coachable. She accepted this as it fit in with her beliefs that she did not need me all along. Her life is perfect as is.

]]> by: justfiverules http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-7 Sat, 21 Oct 2006 09:11:25 +0000 http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-7 Hi Bronwyn, Game on...if she's willing to take action as well as dish it out, then this gatekeeper might yet become a star player. 1- Post the requested answers on your web site and then email a link which requires her to register to get them.. or 2- Email the answers in the form of unfinished sentences... I have coaches xxx clients at C-level in xx industries since 200x. There's nothing like raising awareness... ;-) Thanks for sharing. Hi Bronwyn,

Game on…if she’s willing to take action as well as dish it out, then this gatekeeper might yet become a star player.

1- Post the requested answers on your web site and then email a link which requires her to register to get them..

or

2- Email the answers in the form of unfinished sentences…
I have coaches xxx clients at C-level in xx industries since 200x.

There’s nothing like raising awareness… ;-)

Thanks for sharing.

]]> by: margitc http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-6 Sat, 21 Oct 2006 04:31:15 +0000 http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-6 Hmmm - so the thing that comes up for me is "What is it to feel powerful in my own life?" I notice other people every day trying to "have power" over someone else, but in the end we can't ever have this. Power comes from within. Sure there are people in the world in 'powerful positions' and do things by force...but the most powerful are those who influence the behaviour of others by being their own example (and yes this is not always a positive influence). We may not always have the power to control our circumstances and situations but we can control our response to them. If I could tap into my own power what could I really achieve? I agree with you Bronwyn, what if we could pose that new perspective to people when they behave as described above. I feel sure the world would be a brighter place! Cassandra, bless you for the self awareness you have and the fact you are working on things. ANyway, enough disassociated rambling for now. Thanks Bronwyn for getting me thinking! Margit Hmmm - so the thing that comes up for me is “What is it to feel powerful in my own life?” I notice other people every day trying to “have power” over someone else, but in the end we can’t ever have this. Power comes from within. Sure there are people in the world in ‘powerful positions’ and do things by force…but the most powerful are those who influence the behaviour of others by being their own example (and yes this is not always a positive influence).

We may not always have the power to control our circumstances and situations but we can control our response to them.

If I could tap into my own power what could I really achieve?

I agree with you Bronwyn, what if we could pose that new perspective to people when they behave as described above. I feel sure the world would be a brighter place!

Cassandra, bless you for the self awareness you have and the fact you are working on things.

ANyway, enough disassociated rambling for now. Thanks Bronwyn for getting me thinking!

Margit

]]> by: clevercass http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-5 Thu, 19 Oct 2006 23:09:31 +0000 http://news.icoachacademy.com/2006/10/17/power-is-a-dirty-word/#comment-5 Very interesting topic, experience, and thoughts. Earlier this week I found myself in a situation feeling powerless. I felt less important than the other person and even worse, I felt like I didn't make a difference. These feelings of "less than" led me straight into irritation. Almost instantly, the other person could do nothing right; absolutely everything he did rubbed me the wrong way. Allowing the feelings and irritation to guide me, I stepped into the role of victim and blamed him for our challenge. If he had been different, then I could respond differently. Finally, once I had rationalized that it was his fault I stepped right into entitlement and indignation. I artificially pumped myself up while putting him down to compensate for my feelings of powerlessness. Whew! That was a lot of information! Here is what I have done for myself: 1. Allowed myself to feel the irritation trusting that feeling it would allow it to pass 2. Asked for some time and space alone 3. Wrote about what was coming up for me 4. Asked for and received the support of my life coach who provided a safe space for me to explore and she challenged me with a homework assignment. My homework assignment is in two parts: an individual part and a team part. I begin by writing down all of the underlying beliefs that were contributing to my feeling of powerlessness. Once I have them all written down, then I can determine what I would like to let go of. The final step in my individual process is to write down empowering beliefs that support who I am now. Once I have finished with my part, then I will reconnect with the other person to work together at finding a solution that supports both of us. I am actually looking forward to exploring and sharing my findings with my partner. I know that this challenge will ultimately bring us closer together. Thank you, Bronwyn, for sharing your experience and providing a space for me to share mine. Cheers ~ Cassandra Very interesting topic, experience, and thoughts. Earlier this week I found myself in a situation feeling powerless. I felt less important than the other person and even worse, I felt like I didn’t make a difference. These feelings of “less than” led me straight into irritation. Almost instantly, the other person could do nothing right; absolutely everything he did rubbed me the wrong way. Allowing the feelings and irritation to guide me, I stepped into the role of victim and blamed him for our challenge. If he had been different, then I could respond differently. Finally, once I had rationalized that it was his fault I stepped right into entitlement and indignation. I artificially pumped myself up while putting him down to compensate for my feelings of powerlessness.

Whew! That was a lot of information!

Here is what I have done for myself:

1. Allowed myself to feel the irritation trusting that feeling it would allow it to pass
2. Asked for some time and space alone
3. Wrote about what was coming up for me
4. Asked for and received the support of my life coach who provided a safe space for me to explore and she challenged me with a homework assignment.

My homework assignment is in two parts: an individual part and a team part. I begin by writing down all of the underlying beliefs that were contributing to my feeling of powerlessness. Once I have them all written down, then I can determine what I would like to let go of. The final step in my individual process is to write down empowering beliefs that support who I am now. Once I have finished with my part, then I will reconnect with the other person to work together at finding a solution that supports both of us. I am actually looking forward to exploring and sharing my findings with my partner. I know that this challenge will ultimately bring us closer together.

Thank you, Bronwyn, for sharing your experience and providing a space for me to share mine.

Cheers ~
Cassandra

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