Responding vs Reacting ™
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006A belligerent samurai, an old Japanese tale goes, once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. But the monk replied with scorn, “You’re nothing but a lout - I can’t waste my time with the likes of you!”
His very honour attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and, pulling his sword from is scabbard, yelled, “I could kill you for you impertinence.”
“That,” the monk calmly replied, “is hell.”
Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in his grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed thanking the monk for the insight.
“And that,” said the monk,”is heaven.”
(pg 46, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, 1995)
My thoughts of late have been drawn to the way in which we react to different things in our life and the consequences our reactions can have. Reacting to a particular situation requires us to look deep within ourselves and to understand the triggers that have caused such a reaction. One our our Power Tools at ICA have supported me in my coaching to work really effectively with my clients to understand the difference between reacting and responding. Reacting is that flood of emotion that pours in when certain triggers ignite our fire, so to speak. We leap out and react in a range of ways that can be highly emotional. (more…)
